


I'm a little bit holy water, but still a little bit burning man

by DistractionCake



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cameos from the Serpents, Family Drama, Gen, Jason Blossom's Death, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 02:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16547375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistractionCake/pseuds/DistractionCake
Summary: PREVIEW:"As the two reach the truck they see Mustang and Tony pulling Tony's older brother Thomas Topaz Jr. – the Serpent King – out of the truck bed.He's drenched in blood."SUMMARY:{AU} As the Topaz family falls apart, F.P. Jones II rises as the Serpent King.





	I'm a little bit holy water, but still a little bit burning man

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! As the SUMMARY says, this is an **AU** version of how F.P. becomes King. Seeing as we don't get anything about Toni Topaz's parents in this week's flashback episode, consider this my gift to you all. Also, for clarity's sake: Ton **y** (uncle) is male and Ton **i** (love of my life) is female.
> 
> Some other loose ends: This fic has its fair share of offensive language, so consider yourself warned. Also, this fic is **_not_** about ships, but about the backstory that connects these two characters (F.P. & Toni) and the familial relationship that is built from it.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** The title of the fic comes from Dierks Bentley's _Burning Man_ which is an F.P. song if I've ever heard one.

 

 

* * *

  
  

"Do you– " Gladys Jones begins to ask as she takes in a long drag of her cigarette, "–remember when you used to go around fucking Alice Smith?" she laughs, as she releases her smoke.

"Is that what we're doing now?" F.P. chuckles.

The two are sitting together in lawn chairs, just outside their trailer. It's a quiet night in Sunnyside, a rare feat, and the only other noise besides the two of them is the sound of the small bonfire they still have going on in front of them. It's late, well past midnight, but after another week in which money was tight, F.P. had come up with a small way to bring his kids some joy during their weekend: learning to make smores. It was cheap and effective and seeing the look on Jughead's face as he finally got it right and then helped out Jellybean – well, he'd take a million more Friday nights like this over any fancy Northsider nonsense.

"Yeah, I remember. It was around the same time you were going out with that gimp. What was his name? Ed?"

"Ned. And his limp wasn't that bad, you bastard!" Gladys corrects as the two laugh, their night turning into one of reminiscing with the kids now asleep. "Anyway, I saw her today, at the grocery store on Main."

"Ned?" F.P. cheekily asks.

"Oh, real funny," Gladys fires back as she throws her cigarette butt at him.

"Hey, now!" F.P. jokingly scolds as he briefly flinches.

"Like I was saying, saw her today over by the cereal aisle. Little Ms. Perfect. The New Northside Queen. Alice Smith – oh wait no, Mrs. Apple Pie Cooper," Gladys snorts. "What a fucking joke," she shakes her head.

F.P. briefly contemplates the last time he saw her. Two weeks ago, at the Post Office. She walked in, saw him standing there, and turned around quicker than a startled snake.

( _He doesn't let himself remember the older memories. The stolen moments between classes. Those stolen kisses under the Riverdale High bleachers._

" _F.P. Jones, what am I going to do with you?"_

" _Baby, anything you want.")_

"Almost said something to her about the trash she and her milquetoast husband keep saying about us in their paper."

F.P. thinks back to their morning, when Gladys had seen the new edition of The Riverdale Register and promptly thrown it straight in the trash.

"Ever since they took over it, they think they can just get away with blaming us for all the shit that goes down in this town. Northsiders really think their shit don't stink, huh?"

F.P. shrugs. Wonders if Gladys realizes she's just officially deemed Alice a Northsider.

"It's how it's always been," he responds as he takes a swig from his beer.

"Yeah well, I'm getting real sick and tired of it."

"Why didn't you say anything to her then?" F.P. smirks. Wondering where all the bite to accompany Gladys's bark had gone.

"She was with her girls. Had them looking like something straight out of The Shining with their matching outfits and shit. All blonde hair, blue eyes, and baby blue dresses. Woulda said something but she turned them around so quick once she spotted me, all I could hear was her complaining about the sugar in the cereals."

"That's the best part," F.P. jokingly says.

"You know it, baby," Gladys responds as she leans over to press a quick kiss to his lips. "Fuck her, seriously."

"To the Southside," F.P. says, raising his beer bottle in a toast. "Where you eat your store-bought pies and you like it."

Gladys clinks hers to his with a laugh, "To the Southside."

They go quiet, content to just enjoy what little is left of their evening, until a speeding truck pulls into the trailer park and screeches to a halt. Both F.P. and Gladys jump at the noise, ready to put up a fight if necessary.

A fight isn't required though, as F.P. recognizes the truck that's just pulled in. It's Anthony Topaz's truck.

"That's Tony. What the hell?" F.P. says just as Tony's voice is heard calling out.

"Help! We need help here!"

"Stay with the kids," F.P. instructs.

"Like hell I am," Gladys retorts already rushing forward to the truck.

"Dammit," F.P. mutters as he follows.

As the two reach the truck they see Mustang and Tony pulling Tony's older brother Thomas Topaz Jr. – the Serpent King – out of the truck bed.

He's drenched in blood.

"Fucking hell, he needs a hospital!" F.P. shouts as he reaches over to give them a hand.

"Like those fucking Northsiders would give a damn about his black ass!" Tony yells back. "They'd charge us for just stepping foot in the door and then let him bleed out!"

"Fuck," F.P. mutters as the three carry the barely conscious man over to his trailer. "Gladys, get the first aid kit!" At this Gladys rushes back over to the Jones trailer.

As they approach the Serpent King's trailer, F.P. sees the door in front of them swing open. He sees how the color drains out of the already pale face of Deborah Topaz.

"T.J.!" she shouts, sounding distraught. She holds open the door as the three men bring the bleeding man in and settle him as best they can in the small living room space. Mustang quickly reaches to put pressure on the wound, as Tony steps back and waves his arms around in a flutter.

"Fuck, man," he says. "Imma go get Dad," he shouts their way as he rushes out of the trailer.

Seconds later, Gladys swiftly walks in and gets to work with Mustang in trying to stop the bleeding. Deborah sits with T.J.'s head in her lap crying for him to stay with them.

A few moments go by before Gladys glances up at F.P., a defeated look on her face.

Mustang pulls his hands away.

F.P. feels the rage swirl in his stomach, before he glances over to T.J.'s face and sees him looking straight at him. A look in the dying man's face that communicates everything F.P. needs to know.

( _F.P. remembers how two months ago he and T.J. were talking at the Whyte Wyrm after their latest rumble with the Ghoulies._

" _What are you saying, T.J.? That that bastard took a bite out of Hog Eye's arm?" F.P. asks incredulously. He looks over to the man standing behind the bar, nursing his wounds with a bottle of whiskey. "Like some kind of cannibal bullshit?"_

" _I don't know, man. It was some freaky shit," T.J. says, as he too nurses his wounds with alcohol. "We're lucky we got out of there alive, man. Specially since we were a man down."_

" _T.J…" F.P. begins to apologize. He had gotten into a fight earlier with Gladys and she had left the trailer with no word on when she'd be back. F.P. had had to stay behind with the kids._

" _It's whatever, man. I know how your old lady is," T.J. waves away with his usual charming smile. It doesn't stay on his face for long though, troubling F.P._

" _What is it?"_

" _Can you keep a secret?" T.J. asks, lowering his voice._

_F.P. nods as he moves closer._

" _When I heard Hog Eye scream, I looked over and saw Tony. He was just standing there."_

" _Like in shock?"_

" _Like he was letting it happen."_

_F.P. pulls back shocked at the accusation flying out of their King's mouth. An accusation lobbied at his own brother. F.P. almost asks if he's sure, if maybe he's confused, if maybe he saw wrong, but one look into T.J.'s dark eyes and he knows. There is no mistake being made. He swallows as he looks around and spots Tony over by the pool table, his new girl on his arm._

" _Remember last week? Hog Eye called him out for not paying his tab, said he owed over $300."_

" _You think this was over cash? We got a shipment coming in next week. Money's coming soon," F.P. states, a part of him hating the fact that this is what it's come down to for the majority of them – drugs._

" _I think this was about feelin' like he got disrespected. Humiliated."_

" _No one saw it like that."_

" _Yeah well, his girl has been whispering in his ear quite a lot. She's a total snake charmer," T.J. says with a deep sigh. "Whatever the reason though, he can't be trusted."_

" _What are you saying?" F.P. asks._

" _Just that...if something happens to me, I don't think Tony should take the crown."_

_F.P. shakes his head, "Teej, you aren't making any sense. You're talking about your own blood whacking you? What is the 5th law?" F.P. reaches over to shake his shoulder, trying to lighten the mood._

" _A Serpent never betrays his own," T.J. mutters before looking at F.P. straight in the eye. "But, there's always a way around it."_

" _T.J..."_

" _Just promise me, F.P. If something happens to me you won't let Tony become King. Promise me."_

" _I promise," F.P. states softly, worried about the state of the Serpents if his King is already making these sort of requests._

" _Even if that means you take the crown."_

_F.P.'s eyes widen, "No, no way. The crown is a Topaz legacy."_

" _There's no one I trust more to continue that legacy than you," T.J. states, his charming smile back on his face. "I don't have sons, F.P. But you got your boy. And to me? The Serpents are in good hands with the Joneses."_

" _This is a lot, man," F.P. exhales shakily._

" _Well then, have a drink," T.J. says as he refills F.P.'s glass with the bottle of vodka in his hands._

" _To the Southside," T.J. toasts._

" _To the Southside," F.P. says as he downs his entire glass._

_T.J. laughs as he claps F.P. on the back before switching topics._

" _You heard McCoy's new campaign promise? A whole fucking new school. Southside High," T.J. snorts as he refills F.P.'s glass. "A black mayoral candidate advocating for division. My momma is rolling in her grave, I swear."_ )

F.P. snaps back to the present as he hears a soft voice call out from behind him.

"Daddy?" F.P. turns around and spots T.J.'s daughter there. He glances back and sees the man gesturing toward his daughter.

"Antoinette, get back in your bed!" Deborah sobs.

"You gotta let her say goodbye, Debbie," Gladys softly scolds.

Debbie covers her own mouth, muffling her sobs.

The little girl walks closer, tears in her eyes.

"I love you, babygirl," T.J. croaks out. "Be strong, okay? The Serpents will be there for you." T.J. pauses to catch his breath before he continues, "In unity, there is strength. Say it."

"In unity, there is strength," the little girl repeats as she cries.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy."

At this T.J. glances back at F.P. who barely hesitates in scooping the girl in his arms and walking out of the trailer. Her mother's sobs breaking loose behind them.

Tony is on his way back to the trailer and stops as he sees F.P. and the little girl. F.P. shakes his head. Tony, hands clean from the blood now, rubs at his face.

"Here," F.P. softly says as he goes to hand over the girl to her uncle.

Tony takes one look at her before answering, "Keep her." He resumes his walk back to the King's trailer.

F.P. feels that anger swirl in his stomach again, but he calms down as the girl turns to him – big brown eyes staring straight at him. T.J.'s eyes. F.P. feels the air leave his lungs. He knows she's about Jughead's age, but she looks so much smaller. His heart aches, picturing his children in the same position she is. Right now, he's all she's got, and he'll be damned if he lets her down.

He walks into his own trailer and sits her on the couch. He turns on the television and finds a channel playing cartoon reruns.

"You like this show, Antoinette?"

"Toni."

"What?"

"It's Toni. Not Antoinette."

F.P. takes in the nickname and all the baggage that comes with it.

He nods.

"Toni. This show okay?"

The girl nods, as she wipes at her tears.

Staying strong.

"Will you stay and watch it with me?" she quietly asks.

F.P. sits down beside her.

He doesn't leave the couch until the sun rises.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Two weeks later, F.P. is sitting at the Wyrm listening to Tony go on and on. He glances around and notices that Thomas Topaz Sr. isn't here. The man is known to be a bit of a recluse, but he had expected his presence in this – the passing of the torch.

"It would be my great honor to lead the Serpents into their new era," Tony finishes.

With that, Mustang steps up to speak. "Is there a Serpent here who challenges his claim?"

F.P. glances around again and sees the resigned faces of all his fellow gang members. All still mourning the loss of their King.

He remembers the promise he made in this very room.

He takes a deep breath and stands.

"What are you doing?" Gladys hisses from her seat next to him.

"F.P. Jones. State your objection," Mustang says, surprise in his tone.

Murmurs begin to fill the bar as F.P. clears his throat.

"A few months before his death, T.J. told me his wishes for the future of this club. He told me if something were to happen to him, that he–" F.P. pauses, remembers the anger he felt when Tony rejected his own niece, "–he did not want Tony to lead us."

"What?" Tony asks incredulously. "You're a lying sack of shit, Jones. That's not funny."

"I swear on my children's lives."

The murmurs get louder, all the Serpents well aware of how much F.P.'s kids mean to him.

"What are you saying then?" a newer recruit, Tall Boy, snidely asks.

"I'm saying that, if you'll have me, I will be your new King….It's what T.J. wanted."

As the rest of the Serpents begin to talk amongst themselves now, Mustang calls the room to order. He turns to Hog Eye who stands from his position slouching at the bar and speaks aloud.

"The Uktena Tribe laws, by which the Serpents are governed, state that in the case of two Kings a vote will be held by the members of the Serpents and with it the choice will be made."

The murmuring among the Serpents begins once again.

"A week from today, a new Serpent King will rise."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
"What the hell, F.P.?!" Gladys yells as the two enter their trailer.

"It's what T.J. wanted!"

"And you never thought to tell me this?!"

"Why are you upset, Gladys?"

"Because we look like usurpers! Like traitors! That is the Topaz birthright and you want to just rip it away? Put us, your family, Jughead, Jellybean, me, in the line of fire? For what? For power? For more responsibilities?"

"This is about saving the Southside!"

"You sure? 'Cause it sounds a hell of a lot like this is about your damn ego!"

"My ego?!"

"Ever since Fred Andrews fired you from the construction company you've just been itching to prove you're the man again!"

"That's not what this is about," F.P. responds, his voice low and serious.

A loud knock on their door interrupts them.

The two stare at each other.

A beat passes.

Gladys pulls open the door, Tony walking in and heading straight for F.P.

The two stand nose to nose, the feeling of a fight brewing charging the trailer with even more tension.

"What game do you think you're playing at, Jones?" Tony menacingly asks.

"This isn't a game, boy."

"You best be careful."

"Is that a threat?"

Tony pulls back and smirks at him.

None of T.J.'s charm in it.

He walks out, slamming the door behind him, shaking the entire trailer.

Gladys looks over from her place still by the door. She shakes her head before she speaks, "You have cursed us, F.P. Jones."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
A week later, F.P. is named King.

More than half of the club had raised their hands in the Serpent sign to cast their vote for him.

Tony had stormed out of the bar, a small group following him, including Tall Boy.

F.P. clears his throat before addressing his new kingdom, "Our first order of business."

He looks around at all the Serpents gathered. He remembers the anger he felt –  _feels_  – at the injustices that have led them to this moment.

A beat passes.

"Revenge."

The Serpents stomp their feet in agreement.

As the stomping gets faster and louder, it feels as though the entire bar is shaking.

Power. Strength. Loyalty.

F.P. glances to his right and sees the empty chair meant for Gladys.

He doesn't get home until the sun rises.

Gladys isn't there.

F.P. wonders when he stopped worrying over her disappearing act.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
"I know the man you're looking for. The Ghoulie who put his blade in T.J. Topaz."

"And why would I listen to you? Your man lost the crown."

"I'm a business woman at heart, F.P. Jones."

"Thought you were a lawyer."

"I'm a woman of many talents."

"So, you give me the name. What's that going to cost me?" F.P. asks eyeing the piercing eyes staring at him.

"You'll just...owe me a favor."

F.P. considers it. Considers giving the Serpents their first taste of victory. After losing T.J., they need this win. For morale, for strength, for unity.

"Tell me."

Penny Peabody smirks and names the man.

As F.P. nods he throws his cigarette away and turns around to head back into his trailer.

"Oh Jonesy, there's one more thing you should know."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
"After tonight, T.J.'s death will be avenged. I swear to you," F.P. says solemnly.

"That won't bring him back."

F.P. pauses. He knows that, but...this is the next best thing. This is the  _only_  thing.

"He will not have died in vain," F.P. forges on. T.J's entire life was about the Serpents and F.P. will be damned if he lets them fall apart now. He lays a comforting hand over Debbie's as she sits across from him in the small trailer's kitchen.

"You don't get it."

"The Serpents will take care of you and your daughter. You have my word, as King."

Debbie shakes her head softly, before pulling her hand back. She gets up and walks down the small trailer corridor.

F.P. rubs at his face.

He wonders about those left behind. If maybe they're the truly dead ones.

He turns his face and sees Toni on the living room floor.

Her dark eyes are on him.

He remembers the anger. Feels it.

Wonders if that's what keeps her going too.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Their attack of the guilty Ghoulie ends up as an ambush on an ambush.

A Russian doll of ambushes.

Their target is cornered walking home on his own by a few Serpents, who are then attacked by Ghoulies, who are then ambushed by the rest of the Serpents.

It's the kind of victory that leaves the Serpents raucous in their celebration.

But.

It's not without a price.

Tony gets thrown on the pool table, Serpents holding him down.

"You think I'd be dumb enough to not know you were going to try to sabotage us? To try make me look like a weak, incompetent, foolish King?" F.P. asks menacingly.

"That backstabbing bitch," Tony spits out.

"You're a Topaz, and we're in Uktena territory, which means I can't kick you out of Sunnyside. Or out of the Serpents. But know this – you're nothing now. About as useful to us as a janitor. So, boy, get to cleaning," F.P. says as he reaches for the shovel leaning against the wall.

"Six feet deep. Don't skimp."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
A few hours later F.P. swings by the late King's trailer to give them the news.

Debbie doesn't react.

Toni stares at him with T.J.'s eyes.

It doesn't surprise F.P. when she's gone by the next morning.

It doesn't surprise F.P. that she leaves Toni behind.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Months pass and the more things change, the more they stay the same.

"I didn't sign up to raise three kids, F.P.! We're barely scraping by as it is!"

"I'm not going to throw her away like she's garbage!"

"Oh, but you'll treat me like I am?"

"When have I ever treated you like that, Gladys?"

"Every night, you're at the Wyrm. Every day all you think about is the Serpents."

"They need me!"

"I need you! Your children need you!"

"I have always been there for Jughead and Jellybean. Don't you dare say I haven't," F.P. threatens. He will stand for many accusations, but  _never_  for one that calls him a poor father. Never.

"It's not enough."

"For who, Gladys? For them or for you?"

"If you have to ask," Gladys says shaking her head.

"We always said we'd do anything for the Southside. For our home. That we'd die for the Serpents, because they would for us."

"Maybe death isn't all it's cracked up to be."

A beat passes.

"Where are we going, F.P.? What's the endgame?" Gladys asks softly.

"What it's always been, Gladys. To survive."

"That's not enough. Not anymore."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Two weeks later, F.P. watches Gladys load up her truck and leave.

She takes Jughead and Jellybean with her.

He walks into his trailer, sits on the couch, and drinks his beer.

A few moments pass before the television suddenly turns on.

"Do you want me to stay and watch it with you?" Toni softly asks.

F.P. silently cries as they watch cartoons dance around on screen.

They don't move until the sun rises.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
A few years later, F.P. watches a barely teenaged Toni Topaz do the Serpent Dance.

As soon as it's over he covers her with his leather jacket and rushes her off the stage. The men cheering behind them, Toni's face filled with shame.

"I'm proud of you," F.P. says. He doesn't know what's more fucked up, the fact that he said it or the fact that he means it.

Toni looks at him like it's the highest praise she's ever been given.

Maybe what's truly fucked up is that it is.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
F.P. gives Toni the tattoo himself.

She barely flinches.

After it's done, she praises his work.

"Looks good, F.P. You gotta teach me how to do it."

She gives him that charming Topaz smile.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
When she turns sixteen, F.P. gifts her with a motorcycle.

( _He ignores the pangs in his heart that remind him that it was meant for Jughead._

" _One day, you'll have your own," F.P. had grunted as he fixed up his own bike._

_Jughead had barely looked up from his book in acknowledgement._

_Gladys had been gone again, forcing him to hang around F.P. instead._

" _What about me, Daddy?" Jellybean had asked._

" _You want one?"_

" _Yeah!"_

" _We'll see about that!" he had yelled as he chased her around their trailer._

 _Her giggles had filled the air._ )

"It's a fixer-upper," Toni comments as she surveys it.

"You up for it?"

Her smile lights up her whole face.

A few hours later, the two are covered in sweat, dirt, and grease.

Toni revs the motorcycle, that charming Topaz smile in place.

A beat passes.

And F.P. realizes it's the happiest he's been in years.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
They throw her a party at Sunnyside. Their Southside version of a Sweet Sixteen.

Toni is given drink after drink, shot after shot.

"Think we can get one of the boys to dance for her?" Hog Eye asks F.P. A gender flip of their traditional gift for the boys when they turn sixteen.

"It doesn't have to be a boy," Toni slurs.

Hog Eye laughs loudly at the comment, "I like you, kid."

"Enough to give me a job at the Wyrm?" Toni asks, liquid courage fueling her.

Hog Eye laughs again before shouting over to Byrdie, "Bird! Get one of the girls here. ASAP. We got a birthday to celebrate!"

The entire group gathered cheers.

They sit Toni down and have one of the older girls give her a lap dance.

"Your kid's going to be one hell of a Queen one day, F.P.," Hog Eye says clapping him on the back.

F.P. doesn't bother to correct him.

He knows there's nothing to correct.

"Yeah, she is."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
When Jason Blossom comes to him for help getting away, F.P. thinks of Jughead. Of the possibility that if he had stayed behind, forced to inherit a kingdom he never wanted, if this would be what he would have resorted to too.

_(F.P. thinks of that last week the kids were still home. How Jughead was in his room, reading. Jellybean was out with Gladys._

_And Toni._

_Toni was outside, roughhousing with two boys twice her size._

_F.P. had thought of the Serpents and their legacy. How the world had righted itself.)_

F.P. sets his escape in motion.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
A few weeks later, F.P. stands in the basement of the Wyrm staring at the blood pooling out of the gunshot wound.

The Serpents have survived worse.

They will survive this.

"Grab his feet," he says.

Toni reaches over without question.  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Hours later, the two of them are sitting in lawn chairs outside F.P.'s trailer.

Tony Topaz walks up, covered in sweat and dirt.

"Six feet?" F.P. asks.

"Six feet," he answers gruffly, walking away.

A beat passes.

"I can't wait to be Queen," Toni says, eyeing her retreating uncle.

"Be careful what you wish for, kid," F.P. responds.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
A few weeks later, Jason Blossom's body washes ashore.

"What do we do now?" Toni asks.

For the first time in years, F.P. thinks of Gladys's words.

_You have cursed us, F.P. Jones._

F.P. takes a deep breath, before looking at Toni.

"Whatever it takes."

Toni nods.

"Let's get to work."  
  



End file.
